I’m sure that you all know about the recent Hell Pizza advertising campaign that saw them distribute 170, 000 condoms (complete with explicit instructions) to letterboxes around NZ.

They did this to promote their new meat lover’s pizza called “Lust” (giving out condoms sure does give a literal meaning to the term “viral marketing campaign”).

Let’s talk about the elephants in the room that no one seems to want to talk about here.

Elephant number 1: associating the term “meat lovers” with human sexuality.

How very enlightened; what early pubescent boy thought up that connection?

I mean, I thought we had moved on from treating human sexuality and other human beings in such a degrading manner as to associate human sexuality with a piece of meat?

Well, it seems that the geniuses at Hell Pizza put down their FHM’s and Penthouses, and stopped their grunting and knuckle dragging for just long enough to come up with that campaign.

Elephant number 2: the truth about condom weaknesses and failures

Condom manufacturers, the Family Planning Association and all other manner of condom promoting agencies always warn against exposing condoms to heat, moisture and sunlight, because exposure to such things is almost certain to guarantee that the condom will fail.

In fact, safe sex websites in NZ and abroad clearly warn against leaving condoms in wallets, and they even state that if you are going to carry them with you they should be kept in an outer pocket away from the friction and heat of the human body.

The Family Planning Association even publicly stated that they would not have put condoms in letterboxes like Hell Pizza did.

Yet all the while, the guys and gals from Hell Pizza spent their every-waking moment in the media bollockings on about how their campaign was really motivated by their deep love of humanity and their desire to reduce the terrible plague of sexual disease and unplanned pregnancy.

What a team of veritable sexual Mother Theresa’s these people are!

All the while the saintly folk down at Hell Pizza were doing their best to save the world, no one in the media, or the FPA or the NZ Health Department ever took the time to actually warn people about the serious risks of using a condom that had been left in a letterbox.

And judging by the people I have talked to; despite decades of “safe” sex education in this country, very few people are actually any the wiser about the true weaknesses and failings of condoms.

Most, if not all, of the people I spoke to had no idea that condoms should not be kept in wallets, and that they should be kept away from heat, moisture and sunlight.

So much for the claim that “safe” sex education works.

Elephant number 3: the NZ AIDS Foundation support for this campaign

That’s right – the NZ AIDS Foundation publicly supported the Hell Pizza campaign.

This is the same AIDS Foundation that came out last year in support of the court ruling which allowed an HIV Positive man to get off scott free after he had had sex with a woman without telling her about the deadly sexual disease he had.

Such a move makes it patiently obvious, to all who care to see, that the NZ AIDS Foundation is nothing more than a lobby group for deviant sexual practises and leftist ideologies.

If you think I’m being a bit OTT – just check out their website, on second thoughts; don’t do that – it’s full of sexually explicit content and images that’ll make you feel very unwell.

Welcome to the New Zealand our parent’s generation have created for us.

The cold hard reality of the Hell Pizza campaign is that any person who uses one of those condoms is highly likely to experience a condom failure – and after all the media spin and BS; Hell Pizza has probably added to the already horrendous sexual disease and unplanned pregnancy stats in this country through this campaign.

Good one team, great effort!

That’s what I call responsible corporate practice.

And most frighteningly of all, not one of the condom promoting cadres actually felt it important to warn New Zealanders about the serious dangers of this campaign.

Methinks it is because they don’t want the spotlight pointed anywhere near the true weaknesses and failings of the only thing they offer – condoms.

Meanwhile; it was left to the over 600 decent Kiwis to fight this issue at the Advertising Standards Authority by making formal complaints – to those 600 odd people; good on you for standing up for truth.

Oh, and just in case you didn’t hear; the Hell Pizza condoms were discovered and confiscated from children, by a primary school principal, just days after the Hell Pizza campaign began.