2007 August archive at Being Frank

Archive for August, 2007

Aug

Better be home soon

Categories: Being Frank...

I’ve been down in Palmerston North this week as I’ve had work on in Foxton. We’ve been staying in a pretty flash motel with our own spa pools. Very nice. Can’t wait to come home though. Anyway, I can’t remember exactly where or when it was, but some people out in the country were complaining about putting those wind turbines up around the hillsides because it would ruin the landscape. I remember thinking at the time, ‘what a bunch of hicks’. Having seen the turbines on the hills in the distance down here, I think I see where they’re coming from. Quite ugly.

Palmerston North isn’t so bad. I only venture out for food though so haven’t really seen the town. I did spend around 40 mins trying to locate Burger Fuel the other day though. I’d driven past it a couple of days before and thought I remembered where it was. I drove round and round trying to locate it before having to come back to the motel and check the address again. After confirming I wasn’t crazy and that there was indeed a Burger Fuel, I finally found it. I must have driven past it a dozen times previously but didn’t see it because it was back off the street whereas I had originally thought it had featured prominently on the street.

I guess sometimes we’re so sure we’re correct about something that we miss what is obviously correct. Hmmmm.

Anyway I’m sure I heard this from a couple of places so it must be true, there’s talk of a Catholic matchmaking site being set up in NZ? Now I’m sure Catholics aren’t so socially maladjusted that we can’t find mates normally. I mean just because I think people who don’t pray the rosary in Latin every day are demon spawn doesn’t mean I’m socially inadequate. Besides, just visit Hearts Aflame for all your matchmaking needs. Just joking, they do some great work there. I’ve been a couple of times. Very worthwhile.

Also noted another sign that people are getting crazier. Some lady on the radio reckoned that if you’re in a relationship (not a married one) but there’s no sex involved, then it’s not really a relationship and you’re really only friends. Thanks lady.

Well I’m going to get back to watching ‘Kingdom of Heaven’. I wonder if it’s an accurate depiction of the Crusades? Oops. At least there were no women priests at that time. Oops.

Aug

Perfect marriage – fantasy?

By The Captain 33 Comments

Categories: Being Frank...

While overseas recently (have I told you lately that I went to Jordan!?), I had a very interesting conversation with a Muslim friend about marriage.

He’s 28 and has put the word out to his family that he is ready to get married. His parents have both passed away but his aunt is on the case and is lining up suitable females for him to meet.

The way it works, he told me, is that he meets the woman his aunt has found/chosen to see if they get along. If they do, they go through a dating phase where they establish if they’re suited or not – you know, find out if they’re on the same page about things like who’s going to raise the kids (though it’s expected the women will), where they’ll live, where they’re at on religion (though it’s safe to say she should be Muslim too) and the like.

Obviously, love is a part of it, but my friend laughed when I brought it up. The way we think you meet someone, get swept off your feet then rush to the altar to spend the rest of your lives with them is Hollywood fantasy, he says. And it’s why we have such high divorce rates, he also pointed out…

What he said got me thinking; it sounded so logical to hear it put that way. And it actually resembled what my mother told me years ago; lay your cards out on the table when you meet someone, make sure you’re both going in the same direction, and figure out what matters most to both of you.

The problem is, that sounds so callous and goes against the idea we’re sold from day one in our society. It goes against the fantasy and it goes against the romantic notion. And that’s a source of frustration for me – why aren’t we sold the other idea? The idea that if you aren’t pragmatic about choosing a future partner, things can go horribly wrong.

I personally don’t think that removes the idea of romantic love from the situation, but it does put it in perspective. Arranged marriages fall into the same sort of category; the business is taken care of and no one is under any illusions.

Love is important, I’m not trying to say otherwise. But Hollywood’s idea of love is dangerous, and unrealistic…

Aug

The Cafeteria Myth

By Peter the First 124 Comments

Categories: Being Frank...

As the title implies, I’m inclined to place the notion of “cafeteria Catholics” into the same box as Bigfoot. I have never met, heard or read about anyone who would fit the criteria so often espoused.

The central concept of these elusive beings is that they “pick and choose” which teachings of the Church they adhere to – correct me if I’ve been mislead there.

I have yet to meet any human being who has any real choice about what they really believe: which makes “picking and choosing” problematic.

We have free will in our conscious response to stimuli and in thought. We are free to ponder particular questions, to choose which shirt to wear. Over a lifetime, we make millions of conscious decisions of this type. We are shaped by our choices, by our long-term response to experiences, and that shapes the way we interpret every new situation we enter. It shapes the way we understand a blog post, the way we ignore a particular word or nuance, and it shapes our attempt to grasp the divine.

Given that, how dare anyone imply that anyone else “picks and chooses” their beliefs? All people meet their faith in one place: life. As soon as you separate faith from life, and try to reduce it to purely academic arguments, you’ve lost the point. We are immersed in life.

I don’t wake up and decide to disagree with the magisterium on “x” today. I live my life, of which faith is one important aspect, and encounter different situations, texts and people whose sum influence leads me to see and understand “x” in a particular light. Because these encounters are, implicitly, modified by my response to them, or participation in them, it’s never a simple reduction to x=y.

I’d ask people not to nitpick particular words I’ve chosen, or take phrases out of context, but to actually consider the thesis of this post in the context of your own experience: there is no such thing as “cafeteria Catholicism”.

Aug

I’m not a home-osexual

By The Dumb Ox 28 Comments

Categories: Being Frank...

I’m sure you’ve all heard of metrosexual men (urban men who have fashion sense and use moisturiser), but what about home-osexual men? (no, not “homosexual”, but “home-osexual”)

It’s a term I coined after watching a recent edition of the 20/20 current affairs show that featured an article about an American couple where the husband stays home and raises the children while the wife goes out to work.

My wife and I discussed this issue after watching the article and we both agreed that it was an idea motivated more by money, rather than what was best for families.

Now, before I go any further let me state that I am not for one minute suggesting that women shouldn’t be in the workforce, and I know that there are situations which necessitate that fathers stay home and look after kids.

But this wasn’t one of those situations. The couple featured in this article had made the decision to swap roles, purely because the wife made more money in her job than the husband did.

I am not afraid to say that I am not at all comfortable with this situation, and that it is not the ideal.

The fact is that men and women are different, and there some things that women can do much better than men, and other things that men can do much better than women – and when men and women get together and combine their powers in marriage you get something really awesome and truly beautiful.

But when men and women start swapping roles for the sake of money, you get something inferior.

We know that children benefit from having their mothers at home, especially during the formative years, so why would we want to deny our kids all the benefits that this brings?

Men are not natural nurturers, no matter how much Oprah they watch, and that’s fine – cause dads have a different role to play as caring protectors of their families – and that’s the way it’s meant to be.

During the 20/20 article they kept talking about cultural taboos, and gender stereotyping, etc, etc.

But such talk is a throwback to the bad old days of 1960′s bra burning feminazism – which is an ugly thing indeed for it attacks everything truly beautiful about womanhood and femininity, and instead encourages women to embrace the brutish aspects of manhood – the result is a very ugly thing indeed: a culture without the beauty and balance of the feminine genius.

The real issue here is the feminist lie that says that mothers who stay home and care for their children are doing something inferior and lowly, while women who have jobs outside the home are doing something more important and superior.

The fact is that mothers who forsake careers for children are doing something far more superior and important than any woman who is in the corporate world – no matter how much they earn, or how important their position is.

Mothers who raise their kids are not just doing the best thing for their families, they are also doing the best thing for the country and the future of NZ.

Oh, and for anyone who is wondering; my wife and I were in the same situation as that couple on the 20/20 article, but we chose to put family before monetary gain, and I remained at work while my wife stays home and does something truly awesome and life giving for the future of our family and our country.

Big ups to my wife, my mother and all the other ladies out there who have put families before careers!

Aug

Let down, Down Under

By James the Least 92 Comments

Categories: Being Frank...

As many of you will know, I have just got back from a week-long business trip to Sydney. It was quite a good trip overall – nice hotel, good conference, a couple of bargains while shopping. Nearly everything either met or exceeded the expectations I had before flying over there – everything bar two things.

The first was the weather. :) I mean, we were in the great sunburned land! Sydney was supposed to be an early taste of Summer – and apparently it was…the day before we arrived! Yes, some of our colleagues took great pleasure in pointing out that they were in shorts and t-shirts at the weekend, enjoying 25 degree warmth and going to the beach! We, on the other hand, decided to bring our Auckland weather with us – cold, windy and not too pleasant most of the time. While you can’t really control the weather, my other let down was definitely avoidable, in my opinion.

First, some context. Sydney is starting to get ramped up for World Youth Day next year. And so they should! It’s the Pope and about 800,000 other Catholics after all! :) At any rate, I was quite looking forward to being in Sydney last week because Wednesday was the Feast of the Assumption, and the Cathedral in Sydney is St.Mary’s Cathedral – a building I have never been to before, and one I was looking forward to visiting.

So, after a chat with the concierge and some internet sleuthing, I discovered that there is a Mass at 5:30 p.m. which works in fine with my conference schedule. After answering a number of questions from my workmates about the feast day, why I was skipping drinks for church, and why on earth I’m Catholic anyway, I set out for the short walk from my hotel to the Cathedral.

What a spectacular place! The Cathedral, if you haven’t been, is a minor basilica built in the gothic revival architectural style and is simply magnificent! Keep in mind that I have never been to Europe, so this is about the most impressive Church building I have ever seen.

Anywho, as I walked in through the side door (the main entrance and towers are undergoing restoration work) under the arch with the large sign counting down the days to World Youth Day, I entered into the quiet, awesome (literally!) house of the Lord and took my seat up near the front. I was a little early, so made some time to pray, to look around at the high ceilings and artwork and to gear myself up for Mass. My expectations were pretty high! I mean, there I was in a stunning Cathedral, seat of the increasingly (in)famous Cardinal Pell, for a Mass to celebrate a Holy Day for Our Lady – after whom this building was named! Could it get any better than this?

Well, yes – it could.

The Mass was done and dusted in 25 minutes. That’s with around 400 people in attendance. No music. No silence. No sense of wonder at the miracle taking place on the altar of marble. People walking around in the background. Readings mumbled. 25 minutes.

Now, before any of you start at me about how the Mass is not a party, nor a rock concert, and that provided it is valid, the Eucharist is the source and summit etc, let me cut you off right now and say that I wasn’t after a concert, and I’m sure the celebration was valid, and I was focusing on what was going on up there. But let’s just take that “source and summit” metaphor for a second – if a person was to climb Mt.Everest to reach the summit, and another person was flown to the top and dropped off in 25 minutes, have they made the same journey? Sure, they’ve both been to the top of the mountain, and that’s an achievement in itself. But I guarantee the former will have appreciated the summit far more than the latter.

I couldn’t help but feel let down by the fact that we have this fantastic liturgy for a reason! We build these cathedrals for a reason! And I hear another comment forming: “maybe you just caught them on a bad day?” Perhaps. But I have spent plenty of Christmases and Easters at Mass in Australia and for the vast majority, the story is the same. Sure, I expected more from this Church, but shouldn’t I?

We need to strike a balance! I read through many of the comments eyeWitness gathered in her post last week, so I’m already anticipating some of the comments that I am about to receive, but I’d like your specific feedback on this question: does the style and flavour of the liturgy affect your ability to appreciate what is going on? Does it effect your reception of the Eucharist?

As for Mass in Australia, I solemnly hope that the next time I am over there, I have to come back and write a complete retraction of this post! :)

Aug

What’s just?

By eyeWitness 10 Comments

Categories: Being Frank...

The article link below discusses Ali Panah’s hunger strike after the Minister of Immigration’s decision not to grant him refugee status.

Ali is an Iranian refugee who arrived here several years ago and applied for refugee status. His application was declined and he was arrested 18 months ago and detained at Mt Eden prison to be deported - not the nicest place to spend time! However, he refused to sign papers applying for an Iranian passport because it is dangerous for him to go back there as a Christian.

Whether we think of ourselves as a Christian country or not should we be acting mercifully to those who come to us for help? Ali Panah will risk his life by returning to Iran as a Christian. Should we at least give him a temporary visa till it’s safe for him to go to Iran?

Even worse Ali Panah was handcuffed to a guard while lying in Auckland hospital. This seems like inhumane treatment on our behalf of someone who has already gone 33 days without food. It is not likely he will be running away! Is this what we want our government to be?

http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/PO0708/S00236.htm

Aug

Martyrdom and the Priesthood

By Filia Day 43 Comments

Categories: Being Frank...

Some of the stories concerning brutality and persecution of the Christian community are truly frightening. I read, not so long ago, of the martyrdom of Father Ragheed Aziz Ganni and three deacons Basman Yousef Daoud, Ghasan Bidawid and Wadid Hanna who were all shot at the beginning of June.

At the funeral of Father Ganni, the main celebrant Father Philip Najim commented; “Closed churches, car bombs, forced conversions … in Iraq Christians are dying. The Church is disappearing under the strike of persecution, threats, violence on the part of extremists that won’t leave any option but conversion or fleeing…Christians have become the scapegoat to be taken advantage of or eliminate. They can’t profess their faith freely. Women are forced to wear the veil and crosses are torn from the churches.”

On the 8th June from Iraq Father Najim added, “the kidnapping of priests is more frequent each day. Christians are forced to pay taxes if they want to keep their homes and faith…The only alternative is to renounce one’s own roots, leave one’s country, intensifying the emigration wave.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to underrate the sacrifices that the lay faithful are making in Iraq at the moment, however, hearing the story of Father Ganni made me think a little about the relationship between the priesthood and sacrifice. I mean they’re not force to stay in Iraq, but to freely choose to stay under those horrendous conditions and serve the Christian community (especially with regards to administering the sacraments) is nothing less than heroic. What it comes down to really, is that they value serving the Christian community over their lives – gives new meaning to imitating Christ, does it not? These Priests are practically carrying the Cross to Calvary.

Isn’t that what the priesthood should be – heroic and sacrificial – even if it doesn’t mean literally putting your life on the line? Food for thought anyways….