A few months back, I had quite an in depth debate/conversation with a friend of mine (who was male and also happens to be Catholic) over his use of the word ‘hot’, which he used to describe a girl he was rather interested in. I think the phrase he used was “holy girls are hotter!”. I quickly reprimanded him for the use of the word, although I couldn’t quite work out why I had such an objection to him using it. At the time of the conversation, that only concrete reason I could come up with was that it had a certain “cringe worthiness” associated with it. After contemplating the situation over a couple of days I came to the conclusion that my distaste for his use of the word had something it do with the fact that the word ‘hot’ had certain connotations reflective of the culture of objectification. It seemed to me that by using the word ‘hot’ to describe someone he liked had the effect (unintentional on his part, I’m sure) of reducing the girl involved to a mere object and himself to a mere animal. I explained and proceeded to suggest he substitute the word with attractive or something along those lines.

The other day I recalled the situation in light of eyewitness’s post this week entitled ‘Sexy New Age Religions’. I just want to say before I proceed, that I am in no way criticising eW’s use of the word, I think her use was rather apt. It did trigger, however, thoughts regarding the way words are used so uncritically, particularly with reference to the opposite sex. This is perhaps a consequence of two factors. Firstly, we generally don’t tend to think twice about using words such as ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’ when referring to members of the opposite sex because these slogans are ingrained into our cultural vocabulary. Secondly, words such as these appear relatively tame in comparison to vulgar equivalents that, of late, have become rather fashionable. I will assume you have an idea of what I’m talking about as I’m afraid I might get spammed if I literally spell them out.

Unfortunately, human refinement has become a thing of the past. Words such as beautiful or attractive (words that leave something to the imagination, might I add) have become outdated and old-fashioned. In my opinion, when one refers to another as “beautiful” as opposed to ‘hot’, they tend to be making a judgement about the WHOLE person as opposed to just their physical attributes. Another classic example is the use of the word ‘prudence’. We’ve all heard the term “you’re such a prude!” almost always denoting negative connotations (and might I add moral and sexual conservatism). For this reason prudence has become somewhat of a lost virtue.

I personally think the evolution of the meaning of words, at least in popular culture, is symptomatic of a loss of the sense of human dignity. For example, even though the majority probably wouldn’t admit it, a person (particularly in relationships, but also in many other social interactions) is typically seen as merely someTHING that can be used to further one’s own needs as opposed to someONE that they can give themselves to. In other words, we are living in a culture that, largely, is built on objectification of the other.

I’m no pessimist though, I have a lot of hope that we can change this state of affairs. I cannot recall if I have mentioned this before on the blog, but when I was teaching American History as Auckland University, we had a very fascinating reading concerning bottom-up and top-down narrative accounts of the development of the Civil Rights Movement. The basic argument proposed by the author was that historians should not merely equate change with organised activism such as the legislative feats, big events, or charismatic leaders. Rather, as the author systematically demonstrates, change was only possible through the constant day-to-day persistence and work of grassroots activists. I would argue that his thesis, in part, could be applied to apostolic ventures. If we don’t start at a micro-level (with those who are our friends and colleagues) then often organised apostolate doesn’t equate to much at all. As our society has become so base, perhaps we should start with the basic human virtues in order to help those around us realise their own dignity as well as the dignity of others. It starts with words.