I guess I would be defined (insofar as I love being boxed into categories) as a pacifist. Although I hold dear the importance of remembering and honouring those who have fought in wars for their countries, I deplore war and everything about it. Two very significant moments from my childhood had, I think, a profound effect on my stance.
The first was a documentary I saw on the Nazi holocaust. I can’t have been older than 10, in fact I’m sure I wasn’t, so God knows why I was in a position to see such a thing – my parents were pretty careful about monitoring what we saw, but this clearly went under the radar! All I remember is hearing that people were gassed, their skin was used to make lampshades. Horrified by the reality that such evil existed, I lived in a paranoid fear about Hitler for weeks afterwards.
The second was to do with the Second Gulf War of 1990-1991. I’m fairly sure it was after Saddam invaded Kuwait and before the UN-led retaliation occurred. I’d seen an article on the news and was convinced (probably because the newscaster had said so) the Third World War was about to break out. My parents were out for dinner and my older cousin was babysitting. I went to him in tears and said I needed to call Mum and Dad to make sure they were safe. We were in real and immediate danger, as far as I was concerned.
I don’t think I’ve properly recovered from the fear that both these events instilled in me. And let’s be honest – it was a fear I manufactured! It breaks my heart to think of the millions for whom that fear is very real.
Last year, I met a number of them. Refugees from the latest war in Iraq, many described to me their lives before the US-led invasion in 2003 and their lives since. Miserable, horrible, degrading, disgusting. Why and how we can do this to each other, as human beings, is the greatest mystery to me and the first thing on my list of things to ask when I meet my maker!
In the absence of asking Him directly, I did put the question to my mother many years ago. I don’t remember her exact answer but it was along the lines of “people are unable to sort out their differences”. I thought that was ridiculous as my brother and I never used to sort out our differences, and we didn’t go starting wars! Her response to that (wise woman, my maman) was that we needed to learn to, because the wars we see today are examples of people who didn’t.
There’s been a lot of talk about so-called Just War on this blog, and I’m not interested in relitigating that. Even those who believe war can sometimes be just have admitted there is no need for war in this day in age. So while historically wars may have been about more than sorting out our differences, I see no evidence that that’s still the case.
My involvement with this blog has caused a lot of ups and downs for me, and I can safely say the biggest down has been the realisation that wars are fought over the most ridiculous of things – of a true, deeply held and I believe anti-Catholic inability to sort out our differences.
I just pray that God has mercy on us, and the damage we do to each other.








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