I have a dear friend and she comes from a Hindu background, however doesn’t consider herself Hindu…her mother devout, her father a bit agnostic about it all. Herself also. She has said to me on occasion “Tuppence (well, not my pseudonym, but you get it…), ya know, I wish I’d worked these things out earlier in life…now I’m a bit older (late 20s, oh please, that’s not old) you just get on this treadmill, and yet haven’t worked out the why…” “The why of what?” “Just, ya know, the meaning of it all…”
She’s a fascinating person too – works very hard, can laugh at herself, is attracted to big questions, entertained by simplicity and sensitive to the depth of the human person. She’s genuinely intrigued by my faith, in fact outrightly envious of the fact that this foundational aspect of my life provides me such strength and ‘comfort’ (we have yet to discuss Ignatius’ concept of spiritual desolation and the dark night of the soul…save that for later!). Anyway, yesterday, she was saying “Ya know, Tuppence, sometimes I look back and I feel more regret than pleasure with what I’ve done in my life…I often wish I could be 20 again and start with a blank slate…take more opportunities…in fact… (and this is where her brilliance shines, and she provides me with blog topics…cheers!)
“…Tuppence, what does the bible or catholicism, say about regret?”
I thought, being only one, meagre, inadequate, darkened mind, that I would pose that question to this infinitely richer forum where some could provide better commentary. Starting from the dictionary, regret as a verb is a) to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.) and b) to think of with a sense of loss. While there’s plenty of examples of public ‘regret’ – even the Holy Father has recently expressed regret about polemics and misunderstandings surrounding his lifting of an excommunication for four traditionalist bishops – however, I’m more thinking of regret on a much more personal level, the sense of regret regarding large life choices, regrets that can stay like a constant dull pain.
Does scripture say anything about regret? Does the Church say anything about regret specifically? What is regret, compared to say contrition? What is the role of regret after reconciliation? Are regrets good, bad, or does it depend on how they influence our future behaviour? These might sound like basic questions…but I’m intrigued.
In it’s extreme form, does regret suggest a certain despair about that which one has done, such that one believes they’re not worthy of being saved, or that nothing or no One could save them?
How is regret connected to guilt? And what for guilt? If Catholics have got an unfortunate reputation for anything, possibly guilt is one of the most unfair and misunderstood. Just yesterday I had someone who didn’t know I was Catholic (in fact, an Episcopalian Republican from the US military, who has served in Iraq, is pro-civil unions and fiercely proud that his bishop is gay…try putting him in a box!)…who wanted to make sure he distanced himself from anything like those catholics – “ya know, with all the guilt, and the you have to do this and you have to do that…we just want to take people where they’re at, I guess a bit like Bob Marley…(being that his birthday was last week and all…big deal in Africa)…” ANYWAY, I digress…
Regret…help me out here folks.
Recent Comments