2009 December archive at Being Frank

Archive for December, 2009

Dec

The plot thickens…

By The Dumb Ox 36 Comments

Categories: Being Frank...

A friend alerted me to the following email this week, it certainly makes for some interesting reading, and I think it raises some good good questions about the reliablity of the recent report on the issue of smacking…

Families Reject Smacking Report and Claims of ‘Misleading’
“Why were we never consulted” – Parents

We, the parents who were accused of misrepresenting the facts of our smacking cases and therefore misleading Family First, are refuting the claims, and reject the findings of the report commissioned by the Prime Minister.

Why were we never consulted in the process? It appears that our accounts of what happened and the supporting documentation we provided, including court, police and CYF documents, to Family First has been ignored and the only opinion that matters has been that of the police and CYF. The terms of reference of the Review failed to allow our voice to be heard.

The report contains glaring errors including
·         misrepresentation of basic facts,
·         contains alleged actions of parents which were found to have no basis in court but which still presents the parent as being abusive,
·         fails to take into account the response of the court including discharges without conviction for what were previously claimed as serious assaults
·         reports a case where the police prosecution was dismissed by the court, yet the report still argues that all police action was appropriate
·         fails to address a number of cases where parents were investigated by police or CYF for erroneous claims of smacking made by passers-by or the children themselves ringing 111

In one of the cases, the parent involved says
CYF fully acknowledge that their handling of this case around alleged smacking was inappropriate and breached good practice. They have apologized, both in written form and in person, and freely acknowledge that their failure to adhere to good practice caused undue stress to the family. Although it was certainly appropriate to investigate, the separation of the family for 72 hours should never have happened.

In another case, the parent involved says
The report has included material which paints me as abusing my child yet that evidence was never accepted in court, was only alleged, and the child even renounced those claims to CYF and said the complaint was made up – yet I am still painted as guilty.

As parents referred to in the report, we believe that we should have had the opportunity to respond to the claims made by the police and CYF. This is a one-sided report and fails to objectively hear the evidence from both sides.

We reject the notion that we have misrepresented the facts to Family First, and that Family First has lied in their advocacy work in this area.

Family First has been one of the few organizations willing to hear our side of the story and advocate for our concerns.

We are not child abusers, yet this report continues to make that accusation, and does so without providing an opportunity for rebuttal or a full assessment of the facts.

The effect of the experience of being investigated and in some cases prosecuted has had a huge effect on our families including our children, yet this has been minimized or ignored.

Signed
“John and Sue” – pg 27
Parent – “Father charged for one smack” – pg 24
Parent – “Father charged for shoulder shake” – p21
“John and Mary” – pg 23
“Tania” – pg 30
“Briar” – pg 29
“Jeff and Mary” – pg 28
Parent – “My daughter ran from our house” – pg 31
(page numbers refer to relevant case in Prime Minister’s Report http://www.beehive.govt.nz/sites/all/files/Sec59_review.pdf )

You can read the full reponse here – it includes a brief response to each specific case, where the parents refute allegations made in the report

Dec

Progressing towards what exactly?

By James the Least 14 Comments

Categories: Being Frank...

Well, he said he wanted his little billboard to generate debate, and I’m happy to oblige Mr Cardy on this wish. But I wonder if he stopped to think what the debate would be about?

I think Kerre Woodham had an interesting take on the whole matter – basically summarised as churches should focus on their “core business” and stay away from trying to be edgy as it is as awkward as, to quote Ms Woodham, “watching your parents dance”.

(My parents happen to be quite good dancers actually, but her point is still valid I think. :) )

So I don’t want to debate the validity or cleverness or wisdom (or lack thereof) of Saatchi’s billboard for St Matthew’s in the City (bet St Matthew is real happy that his name is attached to all of this though! ;) ) I would, however, like to explore this new concept that I was only introduced to by this whole incident.

Can someone please explain to me what the heck “progressive Christianity” is?

I’ve been to Mr Cardy’s website and reviewed what he has to say. I’ve also read his little essay on why he put the billboard up. But as best I can understand, “progressive Christianity” seems to be neither progressive nor Christian.

He has a page entitled “It’s not easy being progressive” and I can see why. To quote Hamilton: “Those who stand for nothing fall for anything”.

I mean come on Glynn – what’s the plan here mate? You water down Christianity to such an extent that no one really knows what you believe, or thinks that what they believe is what you believe so you all believe in…belief? I just don’t get it. I’ve had a fair few stirring conversations with fellow Catholics where I’ve said we need to stop apologising for being Catholic, but this is ridiculous.

If you’re going to just outright reject whole fundamental aspects of the Christian story, you can’t really say you’re Christian now, can you? I wonder how those who donated their time and money to build the nice church-shaped hall you celebrate your services in would feel about “progressive Christianity”.

It would seem our resident atheists have a more understandable take on faith than this progressive movement – so what does that tell you? ;)

By the way, speaking of our yet-to-be-convinced-brethern (and sistren? ;)), how are you all doing? Feeling okay? I ask because I assume you’re all taking Christmas Day off work? Probably buying gifts for loved ones and gonna spend the day chill-laxing? :)

Just wondering how you all feel about taking part in a Christian festival? ;) Does that sit okay with you? Probably a good idea to sort out how you feel about the dichotomy of not believing in something that you’re taking the time off work to observe before Easter comes around. ;)

(I kid. :) I kid because I love. :D )

Dec

Catholic guilt

By eyeWitness 3 Comments

Categories: Being Frank...

It is amazing how many skewed views people have of the Catholic Church – how legalistic they think it is, how abusive the priests and nuns have been, how so and so was forced to get married without music because one of them wasn’t Catholic and how awful that was. In many cases these are very real hurts. Such opinions mainly seem to stem from my grandad’s era and reach into my mothers (sixties baby) – perhaps a time when teachers were different and routinely hit children (in any school, not just religious ones) and parents faced harder economic times and their children were apparently less ‘molly coddled’ as a result – a more ‘dogmatic’ past. Were the people in the Church really that bad in my grandad’s era? Maybe… especially in contrast to today’s social norms.

However, when people say the Church is legalistic, dogmatic and changes its views all the time, that is a result of misunderstanding. The Church surely would not have stood for 2000 years, with the scrutiny of revered philosophers and theologians, and not have some substance behind each and every teaching. The knowledge of the Church transcends the knowledge and understanding any one of us might come to in our lifetimes on our own. It is a study of natural law, human nature, psychology and philosophy. If the Church doesn’t understand the core of what drives the human person, who does?

One might take mortal sin as an example. It is now perceived as so harsh a word as to make me almost not want to mention it. However, all it means is that you have done something serious which separated yourself from God intentionally. You have to go to confession to say sorry for that – that is a psychological need as much as anything to help you forgive yourself and move on. You should not receive the Eucharist because you the Church reveres the sacrament so greatly– it is God, and you must be in communion with God when you receive it. God is always ready to forgive and pours out divine grace in the sacrament of confession to give you strength to try to be better next time. One of its functions is to take away your guilt – and you cannot deny that humans, religious or not, have consciences and often struggle with guilt. These are such misunderstood things, veiled in mystique, guilt and mistrust of the Church. Yet, in their essence they are so beautiful, so non-judgmental and so helpful to the human soul.

As the theme of Brideshead Revisited purveys, our consciences are the ‘twitch upon a thread’ that draw us back to God.

Dec

Your Body is a Temple

By On the Road 1 Comment

Categories: Being Frank...

I am no stranger to emergency rooms. Growing up, I have always been somewhat accident prone. Primarily, those accidents occurred as a result of my snow skiing. I lived and breathed skiing, with 50+ days each season, including 120 days one season in California (where I met my soon-to-be wife incidentally enough). I still remember my first day of skiing as if it was yesterday. I knew from that faithful day at 10 years old that life would no longer ever be the same. And it hasn’t. Skiing is what brought me to NZ originally, it has greatly affected my childhood as for a solid four months every year life revolved around trips to the mountain. God is truly great to give us a sport such as skiing. When I was 14 I got into freestyle skiing – jumps, tricks, big cliffs, etc (see here for a taste….disclaimer: Not me..), and I continued with that for about 7 years.

Anyways, as you can see from the video, accidents can be costly, and they were. Broken back, broken collar bone, torn ACL, broken fingers and ankle, back surgery, multiple concussions, the list goes on. I was always determined to come back from an injury, and I did, only to injure myself again. I was determined to make it pro and no injury was going to stop me.

Then one day, sitting on top of the beautiful mountain I had grown up skiing on, God revealed something equally life changing as my first day of skiing. I was not called to this life dedicated to skiing. He had given me skiing, I loved it virtually more than anything else in the world, I had dedicated so much of my life and youth to it, but that going forward it was no longer going to be the focus of my life. Skiing had become, for so many years, the God in my life, and only then had I actually realised it. It was a devastating realisation, one I ignored, but only to get injured once again.

Today, I pay for the abuse I put my body through in the pursuit of skiing glory. I will always love skiing, but it now has a more deserved place in my life, behind many others much more important.

I tell you this as I read this article in the new Red Bull magazine about a professional athlete talking about one of his heros, and more specifically the line:

He’s broken every bone in his body and still doesn’t stop: that really says something about his character.

Reading that brought back many memories of the abuse I put my body through. It reminded me that I only have one body, it is a temple of the Holy Spirit, a Tabernacle of Christ, and I am to care for it. There are so many ways to abuse our bodies, I think we are all guilty of at least some, but we must remember that serving God means faithfully caring for the bodies he has given to us, and knowing when to say, enough is enough. I am not saying that we should avoid all risk, or give up after an injury, but we must be vigilant to ask ourselves, are we caring for our bodies as God intends?

Dec

“It must be the first of the month: new billboard day!”

By Methuselah's Beard 87 Comments

Categories: Being Frank...

Speaking of billboards, I’m sure the one by St. Matthew’s has not been missed by many who frequent this site. Whether you’ve seen it personally (it is in a rather prominent position by all accounts) or read about it in the papers, I’m sure it hasn’t been too far from the popular media. Well as a publicity stunt it is certainly a daring one. St. Matthew’s is definitely in the news now and maybe people will be thinking more about the Christmas story now. I can’t help but feel there are more tasteful ways to bring the Christmas story to the forefront of people’s minds. What were they really trying to prove anyway? That Christians can have a good laugh at themselves? That nothing is really holy and sacred enough to be immune from satire? I’m not surprised someone decided to deface said billboard. It’s lucky most NZ’ers are apathetic when it comes to religion. If this was the States there may have been firebombs involved. And protests – definitely protests.

They’re apparently putting the billboard up again too. What ever for? More defacement? I’ve always wondered about the folk at St. Matthew’s and how I would feel if my sacred place of worship doubled as a dance hall. It’s a good way to generate additional income I suppose (do they’re parishoners not tithe enough? How Catholic of them) and I suppose it’s quite progressive of them (the UK media have quoted the pastor saying the church is progressive…), but if this billboard is a sign of how progressive they are, I’ll have to stick with the old ways.

Dec

Marriage Validity

By Filia Day 2 Comments

Categories: Being Frank...

Well, we have certainly entered the marriage season, in the course of two weekends – I have 4 weddings to attend! I’m sure many of you will be experiencing similar wedding congestion! Interestingly enough, we have a new Motu Proprio and some of its’ content relates to marriage and validity. I thought I would post this link as it is a simple explanation of the ramifications of the changes that have to do with those Catholics who formally repudiate the faith, and marry outside of the Church. Apparently, as of three months after the Motu Proprio, Catholics who have renounced the faith and married elsewhere (without acknowledging the formal processes of the Church for marriage) can get “marriages” annulled, if they wish to return to the Church.

http://annaarcosdiary.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/what-the-new-motu-proprio-really-means/

Good to be up with what good old Bene is on about!

Dec

Could Mary have done with some baby formula?

By Tuppence 23 Comments

Categories: Being Frank...

I’m experiencing a very unique Advent season. About the only things that remind me that it’s Advent are the things that should remind me – prayer, scripture, Mass…

There’s no pre-Christmas sales in big busy malls (neither of which exist in Congo), the only Christmas lights are those kitting out the lone luxury hotel in Kinshasa in the Embassy neighbourhood, and there’s certainly no End of Year Staff Christmas Parties to speak of…

Instead, there’s me with my humble copy of Magnificat, one of THE best daily prayer booklets I know of…liturgy of the hours and the liturgy of the Mass, with little meditations and more to help you frame your day with prayer. And a few new Christmas songs downloaded from iTunes – if you like some good hearty worship music, check out the Christmas albums of Chris Tomlin, Big Daddy Weave and Jars of Clay…oh, and the City on a Hill Compilation album.

And the final thing reminding me of Advent, in a strange sort of way, is a tender I’m working on, closing at 5pm on Christmas Eve, for several tonnes of therapeutic infant formula…for 180 newborn babies of mothers living with HIV/AIDs. It got me thinking…if specialised infant formula had existed in Mary’s day, would she have needed/appreciated it? I figured that, being pretty darn perfect and sinless, she would probably also had the best breast milk in the world to help newborn baby Jesus grow strong in his first few months of life. But then I also thought, maybe not. Indeed, the true goodness in a person is not in physical strength, but strength of virtue, of holiness, of charity. It kind of reminded me the way the sick and the physically weak have a very important role to play in the Body of Christ.

We probably don’t stop to think much about Mary’s humanity, about details like the fact she would have surely nursed the Child Jesus in one of the most intimate ways a mother can. This thought brought me back to the sacramentality and incarnational nature of our faith…how wonderful to be able to taste, touch, see, hear, smell what we believe…and that God became man, closed the gaping chasm between humanity and His Divine Being…Come Emmanuel, Come among us, Come Emmanuel, Come to save us!

Dude, o for awesome. Baby formula or no baby formula. Period.