“Baptism seals the Christian with the indelible spiritual mark of his belonging to Christ.” CCC 1272
This has been on my mind a lot lately.
I have been asked to consider being a godparent and it has got me thinking. It is certainly not a decision to take lightly so I thought I’d better do a little research. I knew that the Church has certain criteria when it comes to parents and godparents for baptism but I have been to several baptisms in the last year in which family situations and even the ceremonies have differed quite markedly. This has confused me as to the ’strictness’ of the rules (some of which can be found on this link).
The couple who have asked me are a non-practicing Catholic and an atheist who don’t intend on starting to go to Sunday Mass any time soon. They have chosen a godfather (not a Catholic) and a priest has offered to do the baptism (not sure how much of the situation he knows). As far as I can see there are two schools of thought when it comes to a priest making a decision about whether to baptise or not. There’s one group who follow the rules because they see the wisdom in what the Church teaches (a pretty good reason if you ask me), and then there’s the group who give higher priority to making sure that the child is baptised rather than being concerned with details.
To be honest, I’m torn. By personality I’m a rule-follower, but who am I to tell the couple that technically (if you want to dot all the i’s and cross the t’s) they shouldn’t be having their baby baptised in the Catholic Church with the situation the way it is? Who can deny that baby a baptism that is ‘necessary for salvation’, that is the ’seal of eternal life’ (St Irenaeus, CCC 1274)? I have even thought of suggesting baptism in another, more ‘general’, Christian church – a thought that scared me.
What about the situation of a grandfather who baptises a baby at home without telling the parents since they choose not to have the baby baptised? Is that ethical? I know of it happening. What’s the difference between this type of scenario and the one above? Do the rules about godparents and baptismal promises go out the window in this situation?
What to do…what to do.
There are significant rights and responsibilities that come with baptism. Do you support a couple who don’t acknowledge these in faith that God will grace the situation? Do you agree to be a godparent so that you can be sure that at least one member of the equation will be a spiritual influence in the child’s life? Do you stress to the parents the importance of the committment they are undertaking and risk them changing their mind about having their baby (who you care about very much) baptised at all?
Hmm… I think this decision is going to need a lot of prayer. Opinions? Advice?
The Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI spoke how his views had changed on this over the years as a result of his experience and spiritual growth.
As a young priest he used to be rather rigid in enforcing the rules.
He is now much more in favour of conferring the sacrament.
I think you do what you can to help people in their faith journey.
God Bless
I’m surprised the Atheist will even consider having his child mumbled over like that. I know I wouldn’t want it for my child. Mind you, he may just be doing what most husbands do and saying “Yes dear”
May be he’s a practising Pascalian 
KA
Joan, why do your friends want their child baptised? Is it just for family reasons? (ie the grandparents want it done)? This is a common reason I see amongst my acquaintances.
I had some similar misgivings when helping a couple prepare a wedding in the Catholic Church – one lapsed Catholic marrying a lapsed Anglican, just getting married in the Church to please one of the mothers (as far as I knew). But I mentioned my misgivings to a friend of mine, and he said two things that really resonated with me: (a) we never truly know people’s reasons, who knows, even though they aren’t practising, maybe this step they are taking is expressing some deep-down longing, and allowing them to express it can only be a good thing; and (b) even if that is not the case, never underestimate the graces that can come from the sacraments… even if those graces are not evident for many years to come.
So I say yes, definitely accept the role as godparent.
Hmm interesting…
may be the first step is to see the priest who offer to do the baptism to see what is his position and bring up your concern to him… then ask another priest for a second opinion before say yes or no…
Rules are there for a reason, especially in the matter sacraments. Therefore you cannot by saying “in favour of conferring the sacrament” and ignore the rules… And as you see from the Holy Father’s example that he is still a rule follower but then his focus is on the sacrament not the rules… and the rules help him to be more focus on the sacraments…
The site you linked said:
It is talking about a particular rule, however I believe the same principle would apply.
I know that if an adult ‘gets baptised in the church’ but has no intention of leading a Catholic life, the ‘baptism’ is invalid,
in the case of a baby if the parents have no intention to raise the child as a Catholic
does that invalidate the Baptism?
If I was in your situation K, I would talk to the parents and tell them that
having their child Baptised in the Catholic Church obligates them to
raise their child as Catholic in the church.
Regards…
Joan
Isn’t the role of the god-parent in the life of the child to see that they are brought up in the Catholic faith ? Doesn’t that come into the responses during the actual Baptism
I used to think that in such cases that the Baptism should go ahead as the Holy Trinity comes into that little soul and who knows what that might bring into the lives of the parents. .a priest told me that ,as the parents had no intention of fostering any love or knowledge of God, and had no intention of going to church themselves then the church felt that it should not be Baptised.
Shalom.
Having a child baptised and giving it god-parents when you have no intention of ever believing is the height of hypocrisy! Let the poor thing make up its own mind when it is of the age of majority
KA
KA #7 – I agree with you, that would be the height of hypocrisy on the part of the parents. But we don’t know for sure that is case here. All Joan said was the parents don’t plan to go to Sunday Mass any time soon.