Mr Steve Crow
Organiser of the Boobs on Bikes parade
Auckland

Saturday 26^th August, 2006

Dear Mr Crow,

I am emailing to express my sincere gratitude for the most excellent Boobs on Bikes parade that you organised and facilitated last Wednesday, during lunch hour, in Auckland’s central city.

First; let me start by saying that I thought it was really unfair of the New Zealand government to stop your attempts, a few years ago, to film the birth of a porn star’s baby and then include it in one of your pornographic movies featuring the baby’s mother.

But that’s not why I am writing. I really wanted to write, as I said earlier, to express my gratitude for all the effort you put into organising last Wednesday’s Boobs on Bikes parade.

As a proud kiwi I think it is really important that private commercial enterprises; such as your pornographic video manufacturing company, are allowed to stop lunchtime traffic in our busiest city to further their own financial ends. It was also really encouraging to see that the tax-payer funded New Zealand Police force was able to take the time to provide traffic and crowd control for your personal parade.

That’s the kind of work and effort that I really like to see the police putting into our society.

I know it sounds a bit cheesy and sycophantic; but I really want to thank you for the impact that your organisation and its parade is having in the lives of the young men and women of New Zealand.

We live in a time of great confusion and brokenness for young people, and in light of our escalating and world-leading youth suicide rates, it is excellent to finally see someone offering young men and women true leadership in the area of self-image and respect for each other.

So many women have been mislead by all those crazy ideologies about the perfect body not being that important, etc, and you are so right to lead by example in showing them that a female’s body is actually far more important than her mind, emotions or even her personality.

I believe that it is timely that you have reminded women that it truly is liberating and empowering to turn yourself into the powerless sexual object of another person’s self-centred sexual gratification. It’s also great to see society being reminded that one of the most important things a woman can do for a man is to get breast implants and plastic surgery.

It is so great that you have been able to remind the women of this country that their true identity and self-worth should be based purely on their physical looks.

I also think that it is really exciting to see an event that truly encourages young men to treat women with dignity and respect by making them the object of their self-centred self-gratification.

The sooner we get rid of the PC notion that women shouldn’t make themselves available to be mindlessly objectified for the sexual gratification of males the better!

The pornography industry is doing really great things for society, it’s such a shame that so many of the participants in that industry have AIDS and other sexual diseases, and that the industry is rife with drugs and broken people.

It’s also a real shame that the pornography industry is helping to fund organised crime, because it really does offer many other great benefits to society (I can’t think of any right now, but I’ll write to you as soon as I do).

I think it is also ridiculous of those moral do-gooders to keep reminding people about the marriages that are being ruined by pornography, and the lives that are being harmed by addiction to porn.

I mean; come on you fanatics – the answer to that problem is so simple; don’t get married if you want to look at pornography!!!

Your industry is doing such great work in promoting the truth that human sexuality is actually just about physical pleasure and objectification of the other person for your own satisfaction. I get so sick of people talking about self-giving love and commitment, that’s why I really love the product that your company is producing (in which the women never say “no”).

I have to finish up Mr Crow, as I know that you are a busy man and that you have plenty of other things that occupy yout time.

Thanks again for the parade and your dedication to the cause.

Yours truly,

Ima Perv

Ps – I don’t know if you heard the news, but last Wednesday (the same day as your parade; coincidentally) it was announced that the number of men convicted of child pornography in New Zealand has increased fivefold in the last ten years.

I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything in regards to the great work that you are doing by promoting the normalisation of pornography in New Zealand, I just thought I’d let you know as you probably didn’t get the chance to read the news last Wednesday.