This isn’t my day!! But I thought I would post anyway because due to an internet fault (or some fault of mine) I am sorry my last Sunday post didn’t seem to come up – and now it is lost because I didn’t save it! Sorry about that
My close friend is just about to get married – it is very exciting! Her boyfriend recently became Catholic after much study, prayer and daily mass. It is really quite a personal miracle and their wedding will be beautiful. Weddings are always very special to me, especially when the couple have truly sought out the meaning of marriage and seek to live it – they have not lived together before so it will be a real change and commitment for both of them. It is so much easier that they are both on the same page now too..
There is always vigorous debate on this site between Christians and non-Christians, Catholics and other denominations- we can be so divided on issues and it is sometimes impossible to achieve any sort of consensus. Which in a way is good – who wants to behave like members of a mindless cult – we should seek to understand and make our faith real.
But what level of dissent between you and a potential boyfriend / girlfriend / husband / wife is ok? Obviously it is a question which needs context but should you go out with a non-Christian? Should you go out with a non-Catholic? What if you fall in love with someone who is neither? Is it ok to think you will try to convert them, but otherwise just agree not to agree on God? Lots of people seem to complain of a lack of potential candidates in their churches!
In my experience finding a partner is a focus in a lot of people’s lives. I would say that people even sometimes change churches to find potential Christian / Catholic partners.
For me a Christian partner is imperative. Not to have God in a relationship would be really hard – because it would mean my partner wouldn’t understand what marriage means to me. I wouldn’t be able to share a whole chunk of myself with my husband. My marriage vows would just not be meaning the same thing to my partner. Added to that, I would feel 100% more secure in a Christian relationship – knowing that my husband had made his vows before God for better or for worse. But as has been shown there is lots of room for different opinions beyond that.
It’s great having discussions with someone who is not a carbon copy of you. You challenge each other and are forced to back your opinions and beliefs up by learning more and exploring your faith further. But it does beg the question what should you be agreeing on? In general, I would say a level of discussion and dissent is actually healthy. But how far is too far?