My dearest Being Frank community,
I return after a one month haitus with the following exclamation – I am a just plain lazy. I never thought would have to publically admit that. It seems like the kind of thing you keep for the confessional. But without being totally honest – or frank – I could not press the little "Publish" button that spreads these words throughout the world (or wherever you have internet access). On behalf of all lazy Australians, who often keep the New Zealanders waiting, I apologise.
There's been interesting discussion here about World Youth Day, like Dancing with Idiots. Just to make things completely awkward, I was actually one of those supposed "idiots" who was "dancing" in the world's biggest flash mob. I actually loved the concept, and I could understand the reason why the cultural team decided to do it. By that stage of World Youth Day, the energy and the exitement among the pilgrims was phenomenal. Most people came out of their comfort zones and just embraced being a little "foolish", not unlike David when he danced (although thankfully, people kept their clothes very much on). This is a natural consequence of being in a crowd of approximately 3.7 million people. A crowd in a football field goes WILD, and so did the crowd on Copacabana. The difference is, people went wild for Jesus Christ. Sure, you never really know what's going on in people's hearts, and if their motivations are purely based on God or just on getting caught up in the craze. But if that crowd on Sunday was the same crowd from the Saturday vigil, where milions of people knelt in absolute silent Adoration of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament, then I'm sure the same spirit of adoration, worship, and love for God was on the beach at Copacabana – the expression was just different. Instead of silence, it was a thunderous witness that the Catholic Church is alive.
My personal experience of World Youth Day enriched my relationship with God a hundred-fold. I left Australia having just ended a relationship that lasted almost three months. That is not exactly how I thought I would begin my pilgrimage to Rio. I felt abandoned and rejected, and unsure of the direction of my life. I became the living dead, with a blank expression plastered on my face. God used that situation to teach me that He is a selfish lover. He never tires of reordering my life so that He comes first. He never ceases to teach me that when I don't listen to the promptings of His Holy Spirit, I twist myself into selfish desires that lead me away from God's plan in my life. Thankfully, God never leaves my side. He must run alongside with me and wonder, "Heck, this girl just doesn't get it!". My ignorance never chases Him away, but only makes Him run that much faster to put me back on track.
That's not to say I've been completely faithful to God since coming back. I have stumbled with keeping a consistent prayer life. I've grumbled at people instead of welcoming them with a warm smile. I've been tempted to love ony my friends and not love my neighbours too. I've almost forgotten what we were told to do at World Youth Day, which was to go back home and make disciples of all nations. But God is still faithful to me, just as He was at World Youth Day.