’til death do us part…

Before I get into the meat of the post…Poorclear, big thanks for you comments on my post last week – very very useful…I’ll be chewing over your them for a while.


My Nana was widowed in October last year and the experience, for me, deepened immensely my understanding of the vocation of marriage. Watching their commitment and love for each other that had weathered the storms of life and had remained so strong affected me hugely. My grandfather was never a verbose man – he was solid, reliable, gentlemanly and very much given to a sense of fairness in all things. Those were the things I knew of him as I grew up. Through the musings of my Nana and the stories that she has told since his death, I have also begun to think about what an amazing husband he was to her – and I know if I’m called to marriage, I would hope for someone who possesses those kinds of qualities too.

Last week was their 50th wedding anniversary. I say ‘was’, not ‘would have been’ because my Nana and family celebrated it as if Grampy was still alive. My Nana wears her marriage on her fingers with all the rings that Grampy has gifted her for their anniversaries over the years. And so, their 50th was to be no different in that respect, as she felt Grampy telling her to go out and buy a beautiful bulging sapphire and diamond ring that was a worthy memory of such an occasion.

What has fascinated me is how much it seems he is communicating to her in his death. Of course I can’t know exactly where he is, but I pray for his soul that he makes it quickly to God. I’m no fan of the ‘Sensing Murder’ sort of ‘making contact’ with the dead, and my Nana is certainly not particularly superstitious.

But there have been too many little things that have happened for her to feel they are mere coincidence.

So I thought I’d try and find out what the Church has to say on that kind of thing. I know of course that dabbling in the occult is dangerous and just plain ol’ silly, but what if you feel that someone close to you is still very close, even in death? What if you are not seeking out those unusual moments but things simply happen? I looked in the Catechism but I couldn’t find much…maybe I was searching in the wrong place…anyone got any ideas?

Is it at all similar to the kind of relationship we have with the saints?

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    Comments: 2

    1. Chris Sullivan February 20, 2008 at 12:10 pm

      The communion of the Saints is a spiritual reality, so some kind of experience of the reality of that communion is not at all unusual.

      God Bless

    2. greg bourke February 25, 2008 at 10:11 pm

      this was quite a provocative post and doesn’t seem to have gained the attention it should have.
      Thanks for relating the experiences and I concur with Chris.