Sorry this is coming in late in the day – technical issues at this end and we’ve just got the internet back at our place!

I don’t feel like I warrant a legitimate place as a BF-er if I blog about the same topic several weeks in a row. But here I go…

Since getting back from the Worldwide Billings Ovulation Method conference (and missing a week of BF posting by pure forgetfulness), I have absolutely floored to say the least by the positive responses I am receiving about Billings.

I guess I had this notion that people, including friends, would scoff at the idea – say “That’s nice, for you and all you Catholic folk…but we, less backward sort, we don’t need your ‘natural methods’ and laa dii daa…”

Boy was I wrong. Every single person I’ve spoken to, from friends on the touch rugby field, to colleagues in the office, from internationals to locals, from the elite to the underprivileged, the response has been positive. And not only as a way to avoid pregnancy, but especially as a way to monitor reproductive health, and to achieve pregnancy.

What I’ve realized is that

- there’s nothing socially just about promoting a natural method that isn’t highly reliable (and that’s what some people now do, naming no names), in the name of ‘statistics’ and ‘it’s a numbers game’. I’m sorry, if I’m a woman relying on a method and as a couple we decide it is truly not prudent to bring life into the world right now, I need something reliable. Dumbing down and compromising on science for the sake of increased coverage does not work for me…

- I haven’t yet spoken to a woman who thinks the Pill is the most brilliant invention ever. Every…single…woman I have spoken to, and ok, not a lot, but women of a wide spectrum of cultural and moral values…none have yet to say “Yes, I was on the Pill, and I loved it…” They all show reservations, they all say “I was on it for this long…(pause) but I don’t like being on the Pill…”

- The heartache for woman who have borne the burden of contraception all their married lives is very real. We’re not talking ‘sexually liberated’ ‘I’ll do whatever I want’ types, but simply women who are trying to do the best thing for their family. A lot of husbands, especially here, won’t have a bar of anything that makes the sexual experience awkward for them, never mind what impact the other alternatives have on their wife.

- Infertility and sub-fertility causes as much if not more anxiety than unexpected pregnancy and, while I don’t have the stats on hand, the levels of these are no less so in developing countries compared to the developed. Just the other day a woman told me “I wish I had known about Billings…my husband and I just separated over the fact that we’ve been unable to have children for many years.” If we’re all about ‘free-ing’ women and giving them the ‘choice’…but we give them the ‘choice’ to avoid pregnancy but don’t give them the free, empowering ‘choice’ to know their bodies enough to maximize the possibility of conception before turning to expensive, invasive and dragged out IVF cycles…where’s the social justice in that? Why should the anxiety of a couple needing to avoid pregnancy be any more important to settle (and contraception doesn’t really settle it…) than the anxiety of the couple that is desperate to conceive…? Why should the latter have to fork out piles of money when the former are being thrown ten different, artificial options everyday?

For many years I’ve always held firm to the Catholic teachings on why we have natural family planning etc etc…theology of the body…etc etc…and in a way it shouldn’t surprise me that when I get the privilege of starting to walk alongside women and they open up to you.

This is part of why I, sadly, hung up my Being Frank hat again this week. As the demand is growing where I am to teach and share the Billings Ovulation Method, I realize I can’t do it all. It has been a pleasure writing for Being Frank but I also know there are others who can give this more than I can. I think I’ll do a couple more weeks of blogging but in the meantime, pray for all those couples who are just struggling to find that life-giving, fruitful, loving answer to living out God’s plan for man and woman and the family…

I've keep noticing an attitude in our culture where it is "cool" to be an early adopter of something that catches on. Perhaps it is a song or artist that they discover just before it becomes popular. Maybe it is the hip and secret little cafe or restaurant tucked away in a part of town where patrons are rare. Some people are so keen on this that they comment "First" on social media posts and articles. 

I wonder if this happened in other cultures. Is it because we have a culture that says it doesn't like conformity? Then how come being first is only "cool" if the thing we are first to take up becomes popular? And why would we be concerned with being "cool" at all?

I wonder if the first disciples had any of this psychology at play. Being an early adopter of the actual Messiah must have been a pretty cool thing for a Jew to have claim to. We know they argued over their relative importance several times, it  says so in Scripture. Could that Jesus appeared to the women first have been a stumbling block for the other disciples? 

Ultimately, they put aside these earthly vainglories, along with the others, and became Saints great in the Kingdom of Heaven. 

P.S.:

I prayed for my spouse before I met them #hipster

I value human life before it is born #hipster

A few months back I blogged about the Pilgrim Statue of Fatima which I could remember visiting my school when I was a child. Teresina commented under my blog that she knew of a pilgrim statue in the Te Rapa parish in Hamilton and directed me to the website. Well… a few phone calls and a few months later we are lucky enough to have the statue with us at my school and parish.

We have the statue for the month of May and, while it is based at school, it is in great demand to go to parish homes and to be present at different group meetings. Those with a love of the Rosary and a devotion to Mary are really enjoying the opportunity of having this beautiful statue in their homes for an evening of prayer.

The statue comes with a little book that has been written in by all of those who have had it in their homes over the last 27 years and I thought I would share some of their comments with you.

"I received a great blessing this time. Thank you Mother Mary!" Cambridge, 1986

"Simple beauty touches us always." Raglan, 1986

"She brought peace to our home once again." Matamata, 1987

"The statue came to our home on the same day that Pope John Paul II prayed the Rosary on TV from Rome, starting the Marian Year for the whole world!" Rotorua, 1987

"Always here the week she is needed!" Rotorua, 1987

"We thank thee for the love and strength and many blessings you have bestowed upon our family." Cambridge, 1988

"Our Blessed Mother kept her promise. (name removed) died this morning Our Lady is waiting for him to come home for the last time. He was wearing his scapular – he had great devotion to Our Lady. Thank you Blessed Mother, thank you." Ngaruawhahia, 1988

"Your home, your family." Hamilton, 1988

"We have been greatly honoured, words can not explain. Thank you Dear Mother of God; thank you." Mt Maunganui, 1989

"What blessings you give, what comfort you bring." Mt Maunganui, 1989

"Humble thanks for your beautiful presence in our home. Many thanks for the graces and belssings received. Please come again Holy Mother, Our Mother." Te Puke, 1989

"Thank you for visiting me. I hope this will be a turning point in my life." Waihi, 1990

"Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Our Lady was honoured as people processed past the statue." Huntly, 1993

"Dearest Mother. No words can ever express how I felt having you in my heart and in my home at the passing of my dear mother. You are forever in my heart." Rotorua, 1994

"Dear Blessed Mary, today has been a sad day and a joyful day for Dad passed away suddenly this morning. Dad loved you with a deep devotion. Thank you Blessed Mother for being at our home during our time of sorrow." Cambridge, 1996

"Thank you for gracing this house with your presence, at a time when you are most needed. Miracles do happen. Great interest from non-Catholic friends to learn more about the Rosary." Ohaupo, 1996

"If you see the living image of the Mother of God with her critical messages of love and concern for all her children, then you will indeed get closer to being full of grace." Hamilton, 2000

"She came to heal those who were hurting. She brought smiles back, she brought family back, she brought our love and lives back. Thank you." Bay of Plenty, 2001

We are indeed blessed to have the pilgrim statue with us in our little part of the world. May she bring blessings to us all!

A couple of weeks ago, I started courting a wonderful young Catholic man.  Prior to being pursued, I had done a fair bit of reading about dating, courtship, and chaste relationships.  I thought I knew all there was to dating and walking the path to marriage.  But this week, I stumbled upon an excellent video on Marriage and Relationship by Fr Robert Barron.  It's a beautiful commentary on what makes for a long lasting relationship, both platonic and romantic.  This is my favourite line in the video:

"To get married in the Catholic Church, that's to say before God, what you're saying is, we've discerned that together we are in love with God, and we've discerned that God, for His purposes, has drawn us together…It's that God has for his purposes, drawn us together, so that we might find our salvation in each other's presence, and that together, we might fulfill a common mission." 

Maybe I'm more emotional than I admit to being, but I cried a little while listening to Fr Barron.  Needless to say, watching the video also made me realize that I have a lot to learn about what it takes to get married.  Listen to the holy man's wise words.  I'm sure you'll feel all warm and fuzzy, but perhaps also challenged to pursue true love with a transcendent third. 

I heard an interesting background to the episode of Jesus walking on the Sea of Galilee.

The local people believed that at the bottom of this lake was an allegory of Hell. So what surprised them most about Jesus walking on water was not just that he was physically walking on water, but that he was able to do so against the might of Hell. When the disciples first saw him they said to themselves that it must be spirit, supposing that a spirit had escaped. That Jesus calls Peter to come and walk on the water should signal to us that Jesus wants Peter and his successors to conquer Hell through Christ’s authority. But we must continually look to Christ. When Peter sees the strength of the storm, and imagines the gaping jaws of Hell below him, he despairs, and begins to falter.

Still thinking about all its implications and depth…

At Mass last Thursday a friend of mine passed out. Stone cold hit the deck. It was during the consecration and, apart from needing two stitches in her head where she hit the pew in front of her, she's fine. 

The priest carried on with Mass at first but then came over to check on her. He said that he has seen lots of people faint and he usually just carries on with Mass, but my friend had been making a gurgling noise and he was worried she was having a stroke. 

I have also seen quite a few people faint during Mass and all of the priests have tended to do the same, continue on with the celebration of the Eucharist. It got me wondering is there a liturgical reason behind this? Once the host has been consecrated what are the rules about leaving the altar?

I'm going to write a post that relates quite well with a comment I received on my last post.  Thanks to Teresina's comment, which quoted St Therese of Lisieux's understanding of the nature and purpose of different souls. It fits well with what I've been pondering on this week, which were words from Pope Francis to young people.  He said,

Dear young people, do not bury your talents, the gifts that God has given you!  Do not be afraid to dream of great things!"

I've always known in my heart that God was calling me to do something big in this world.  Even my sister told me that she thought I would be "a big name" in the Church.  I've been praying about that lately, particularly in light of the calling of all people to be saints.  I have a unique offering for the world, which is something about God that nobody else can reveal.  Imagine what great loss it would be if I did not reveal that gift of God which He freely bestowed upon me?  

We are called to be saints, martyrs, and missionaries.  Nobody that devoutly follows the Catholic faith can escape those three callings.  How they are lived out is, as St Therese says, "consists in being what He wills us to be".

So I've asked myself the question: what does He will me to be?